We all hit those moments in life when we feel a little lost. What am I good at? Do I even have strengths? If you’ve found yourself on a self-discovery journey, asking these questions is part of the process. Spoiler alert: You do have strengths, and you’ve probably been overlooking them or down-playing them for far too long. But discovering them isn’t about forcing yourself to be good at everything—it’s about tuning into the parts of you that already shine, even if you don’t realize it yet. Here are 10 practical ways to do that.
1. Take a Strengths Assessment (Just Give It a Shot)
I know, I know. This sounds like something a corporate trainer would suggest before a team-building exercise. But tools like the CliftonStrengths or VIA Strengths aren’t just for the office—they help you name and claim your strengths. Sometimes, having a name for what you’re good at can be the first step in understanding and owning it.
2. Reflect on Genuine Compliments (No, “You Look Pretty Today” Doesn’t Count)
Think back to times people have praised you for something more meaningful than your appearance. It might have been your knack for calming everyone down in a crisis, or your ability to cut through the nonsense and get to the heart of a problem. Start paying attention to these compliments—they’re clues to your natural abilities.
3. Ask Your Trusted Friends (The Ones Who Tell It Like It Is)
Sometimes we’re too close to ourselves to see what’s obvious to others. Ask friends who really know you what they think you’re great at. Often, the things we overlook as “just something I do” are the very strengths that others admire in us.
4. Pay Attention to What Drains You (This Is About Energy, Not Negativity)
Here’s where getting to know yourself on a deeper level comes into play. Think about the tasks or interactions that leave you feeling depleted. It’s not just that they’re difficult—they may be pushing you away from your core strengths. When you understand what drains you, you’re also learning what fuels you. You start to see where your natural abilities thrive. Knowing yourself deeply means being honest about these moments. For example, if managing details drives you up the wall, maybe your strength lies in big-picture thinking.
5. Reconnect With What You Loved as a Kid (Before Life Got in the Way)
We often lose sight of the things that made us feel alive as children. When you were younger, you acted out of pure curiosity and joy—no pressure, no judgment. Take some time to reflect on what you used to love before life convinced you to be “practical.” Did you love building things, drawing, helping others? These interests weren’t random—they were early indicators of where your strengths might lie. Reconnecting with that childlike curiosity helps you rediscover your authentic self.
6. Notice Your Flow Moments (When Time Disappears and You’re Totally in the Zone)
When do you feel completely absorbed in something, to the point where you lose track of time? These are moments of flow, and they’re a big clue to what your strengths are. Whether it’s solving a tricky problem, writing, or creating something, flow is when your strengths are in their element. Getting to know these moments helps you connect with the real you, the part of you that’s working at full capacity, almost effortlessly. It’s in those moments that you stop questioning your abilities and start trusting them.
7. Look for Patterns in Your Wins (The Big Ones and the Small Ones)
Think back to your successes, both big and small. What common threads run through them? Did you manage to lead a team through chaos? Were you the calm problem solver in a heated situation? These moments aren’t just luck—they’re hints about where your strengths naturally show up. By noticing these patterns, you start building a clearer picture of what you excel at, and why.
8. Face the Things You Procrastinate On (There’s a Reason You’re Avoiding Them)
Sometimes, the things we avoid are tied to our potential. We procrastinate not just out of laziness, but because we fear we might actually be good at the thing we’re avoiding—and that can be intimidating. The challenge here is to confront that fear and see what happens. Often, you’ll find that once you take the leap, those strengths you’ve been neglecting rise to the occasion.
9. Challenge Yourself in Small, Intentional Ways (It’s Not About Big Risks)
You don’t have to make life-altering changes to find your strengths. Start small. Challenge yourself in tiny, specific ways—maybe it’s offering a new solution at work, or taking charge of a project you’d usually shy away from. The point is to stretch yourself, not break yourself. Over time, you’ll start to see where your strengths naturally emerge when given the right opportunity.
10. Stop Fixating on Your Weaknesses (You’re Not Broken)
Here’s where things get reflective. We spend way too much time obsessing over our weaknesses, convinced that if we just “fix” ourselves, we’ll be better people. But focusing on your weaknesses isn’t the key to growth. Lean into what you’re already good at. When you focus on your strengths, you’re not ignoring your flaws—you’re building on what makes you uniquely you. There’s power in authenticity, and being a “rock star” doesn’t mean being perfect at everything. It means being fully yourself, in all your strength.
Discovering your strengths is less about becoming something new and more about uncovering who you already are. It’s about peeling back the layers, understanding what gives you energy, and learning to trust your capabilities. When you stop focusing on what’s wrong and start celebrating what’s right, that’s when you step into your true potential. And really, there’s nothing more authentic—or powerful—than that.