Why Little Miss Perfect needs a vacation… like yesterday.
Let’s be real—perfectionism is exhausting. It’s like chasing a rainbow while carrying a 50-pound backpack. Spoiler alert: you’re never going to catch it, and that backpack is full of unnecessary expectations. Yet, here we are, dragging ourselves toward some imaginary ideal. Why? Because somewhere deep down, we’ve convinced ourselves that being “perfect” will earn us the validation we’ve been craving since that one time in third grade when we got a B+ in math and our teacher raised a skeptical eyebrow.
For a lot of us (and let’s be honest, especially women in middle age), perfectionism is a survival mechanism that’s gotten out of hand. Whether it’s juggling careers, families, pets, hobbies, or even planning the perfectly color-coordinated living room (which, spoiler, the dog will ruin in 10 minutes), we’ve spent years trying to meet these invisible, unattainable standards. And it’s exhausting.
The Little Miss Perfect Trap
You know her. You might be her. Little Miss Perfect, that persona we developed way back when our sense of self-worth was fragile, and we thought that if we just did everything right, we’d be worthy of love, recognition, and (oh, the holy grail) praise. She’s the one who got hooked on that dopamine hit of “good job!” and now can’t stop, won’t stop. It’s a tricky cycle, especially if you were raised in an environment where nothing ever felt quite “good enough”—maybe your parents or teachers expected more, better, faster.
Perfectionism can easily creep in early on, especially if you learned that doing well = approval. And man, does approval feel great, right? Especially for those of us living close to our senses—(hello, neurodivergent friends)! We love a good dopamine hit. Someone says, “Wow, you did that perfectly,” and suddenly, it’s like a little dose of validation sunshine. But then, the sun sets, and we’re left chasing that next hit. The more we chase, the more we forget that good enough is already great.
The Overcommit and Burnout Tango
Here’s where it gets ugly. Some of us (okay, most of us) are chronic over-committers. Why sign up for one thing when you can sign up for ALL THE THINGS? But then, we’re not just committed to doing them, we’re committed to doing them perfectly. And what’s the result? Utter. Exhaustion. Maybe you’re that person who promises to bake cupcakes for the school fundraiser, take on the big project at work, keep the house spotless, and still hit the gym three times a week. Somewhere in between, you’re trying to “relax,” but let’s be real—relaxation is just one more thing on your to-do list that needs to be perfected.
Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we feel the need to be Superwoman when, frankly, nobody asked?
But, Really, Why?
Have you stopped to wonder why you strive to be perfect at everything? Honestly, let’s ask the hard question: who are you doing it for? Is it for yourself? (Let’s be honest, probably not.) Is it for that old teacher who never gave you a gold star? Or is it just for the fear of failure, the idea that if we’re not perfect, we’re… what? Less valuable? Less lovable?
Here’s a secret: nobody’s expecting you to be perfect—except you. That’s right. While you’re running yourself ragged making sure everything is just right, everyone else is too busy with their own lives (and their own perfectionism spirals) to notice if your cupcakes are slightly overbaked or your living room pillows don’t match.
In the words of Anne Lamott, “Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people.” It doesn’t push you to do better; it keeps you from doing at all. And if we’re not careful, it’ll keep us from living. Think about it: how many moments of joy have you skipped because you were too busy fine-tuning something that was already pretty darn good?
The Rebellious Art of “Good Enough”
It’s time to give yourself a break—literally and figuratively. Stop chasing perfection and embrace the wonderfully imperfect chaos that is real life. You know what’s better than being perfect? Being present. Showing up, being yourself, and letting things be what they are.
Give yourself permission to be flawed, to mess up, to underbake the cupcakes every now and then. Because here’s the truth: you’re enough just as you are. And the only person who needs to believe that? Is you.
So, next time Little Miss Perfect pops up and starts whispering in your ear that you’re not doing enough, remind her that you are. Remind her that perfectionism is just a fast track to future insanity, and you’d much rather take the scenic route—cupcake crumbs and all.
In the end, life’s too short to spend it striving for some impossible standard. Drop the illusion, cut yourself some slack, and remember: being “good enough” is perfectly good.