Let’s just get this out of the way—I’m an impulse buyer, and if you’re reading this, you might be one too. It’s not like we mean to do it. But when you live with ADHD, impulse buying is practically baked into the experience. Throw in the “buy it now” buttons on Amazon and the ease of Door Dash, and it’s like the universe is daring us to see how much we can add to our carts before logic catches up.
I’ve been down this road a lot. In fact, let me just confess something right now: I currently own three vacuums. Not used vacuums, mind you—brand new, still in the box vacuums. Why? Because when I feel anxiety about cleaning (which is daily), I order a new vacuum. In the moment, my brain tells me that buying a new vacuum is the most important step in solving the issue. It’s not about actually vacuuming or even getting up off the couch. Nope, a shiny new cleaning device will make me feel like I’m tackling the problem, even when I’m nowhere close to doing anything about it. By the time the vacuum arrives I have moved on.
My Biggest Impulse Purchase? A House.
Impulse buying can range from a quirky mug to, oh, I don’t know, a literal house. Yeah, I did that. One weekend, just casually bought a house. I wish I could say it was a thoughtful decision, but no, it was pretty much the same impulsive brain process that leads me to buy unnecessary home gadgets. Only, this time, it was a home. A rather large one, at that.
It wasn’t entirely absurd—okay, it was mostly absurd—but in the moment, it felt right. And that’s the key with impulse purchases, right? Whether it’s a glittery notebook, an extra vacuum, or a HOUSE, it all feels like the right move at the time.
ADHD brains love novelty and quick decisions, and this was the ultimate dopamine rush.
The Absurdity Behind the Purchases
Impulse buying, especially for women with ADHD, can seem completely irrational from the outside. But when you’re in the moment, the emotional depth is real. It’s not just about wanting stuff—it’s often a way to cope with feelings we don’t have time or space to deal with. Stress, anxiety, boredom…it all builds up, and shopping feels like a quick, easy fix.
Take my vacuum situation, for instance. When I feel stressed about the mess in my home, I don’t think, “I should tackle this one room at a time.” I think, “I need a better vacuum.” Somehow, owning the right tool makes me feel more capable of handling the situation, even if that tool never leaves its box. It’s the illusion of progress. Buying something feels like I’m taking control, even when I’m just avoiding the real issue.
And, well, it’s not always cleaning products. Sometimes it’s clothes, or fancy pens, or some obscure kitchen gadget that promises to revolutionize my life. Spoiler: I still can’t cook. The amount of “kitchen gadgets” still in the box is alarming.
Forgiving Yourself After the Shopping Spree
So, what happens when the purchases arrive and the dopamine wears off? That’s when the guilt kicks in. If you’re like me, you start asking, “Why did I buy this?” and “What was I thinking?” It’s easy to beat yourself up, but here’s the thing: impulse buying isn’t a character flaw. It’s part of how ADHD brains work, and it’s okay.
The key to working through it is acceptance, self-compassion and forgiveness. Recognize that this behavior isn’t about weakness or irresponsibility. It’s about your brain looking for a way to deal with ick. When you recognize this and accept it, you make space for understanding and, eventually, change.
Managing the Impulse: Yes, You Can Curb It (Mostly)
Once you’ve forgiven yourself, it’s time to get practical. Here are a few ways to manage those impulse buying tendencies without completely depriving yourself of a little dopamine rush.
- Budget for It: I know, budgeting sounds like the opposite of fun, but hear me out. Set aside a specific amount each month for impulse purchases. That way, you can still indulge that “buy it now” urge without wrecking your finances. When the fund runs out, you stop buying. Simple, right? (Okay, not that simple, but it helps.)
- Save for Later: If you’re on Amazon or another shopping site, use the “save for later” option. Add items to a wishlist instead of buying them right away. Trust me, it gives you the same short-term satisfaction without the commitment. Plus, in my experience, I forget about most of the things I save, which means I didn’t really need them in the first place. (Although that disco-ball-shaped planter? Yeah, I still bought that.)
- The 72-Hour Rule: If you want something that’s non-essential, wait 72 hours before you buy it. This delay gives your brain time to calm down, and often, you’ll realize that you don’t need it after all. And if you do still want it after three days? Well, at least it’s a more considered decision.
- Know Your Triggers: Impulse buying is often tied to emotional triggers. For me, it’s anxiety—especially around house cleaning (hence the vacuum collection and the 15 bottles of clorox). For you, it might be boredom, loneliness, or stress. Recognizing what triggers the buying urge can help you find other ways to deal with those feelings—like taking a walk, journaling, or just taking a breath.
Final Thoughts: Laughing at the Absurdity
Impulse buying may not be something we’ll ever fully conquer, especially when you throw ADHD into the mix. But we can learn to laugh at it, forgive ourselves, and work with it in a healthier way. Whether it’s a vacuum, a house, or a random kitchen gadget, the absurdity is what makes life interesting. And if you can budget for it, well, maybe a few ridiculous purchases aren’t so bad after all.