Resilience. It’s more than just a buzzword tossed around in self-help books—it’s a secret weapon for handling life’s unexpected twists and turns. But what does it actually mean? And why is it something we should work on flexing?
In essence, resilience is the ability to adapt to setbacks, challenges, and adversity. It’s what helps you keep your balance when life pushes you. Whether it’s a tough day at work, a relationship hiccup, or a health crisis, resilience is what enables you to acknowledge the difficulty, process it, and then move forward with a stronger sense of self.
Why Is Resilience So Important?
We all know that life isn’t all puppies and glitter. And while it’s tempting to wish for that “perfect” life, the reality is that challenges and setbacks are part of the human experience. Without resilience, every bump in the road can feel like a full-blown crisis. With it, however, you can see those moments for what they are—temporary setbacks—and navigate them with grace and determination.
Let’s consider emotional flexibility, one of the cornerstones of resilience. Emotional flexibility is the ability to feel your emotions deeply but not get stuck in them. It’s the difference between acknowledging sadness and wallowing in it, or feeling frustration but not letting it drive your actions. Resilience doesn’t mean suppressing your emotions or pretending everything is fine when it’s not. On the contrary, it means allowing yourself to fully experience those emotions and then move past them. You feel the frustration, disappointment, or sadness, but then you ask yourself: What can I do next?
Take Joe as an example. Joe recently went through a difficult breakup. Instead of numbing his feelings with distractions, he allowed himself to grieve. He leaned into his sadness, took time to reflect, and gave himself space to feel all the emotions that came with it. But after a period of processing, he didn’t stay there. John made a conscious decision to move forward—he started going to the gym, reached out to friends for support, and even signed up for a new class. Flexing his resilience muscle didn’t erase the pain, but it helped him move through it and emerge stronger on the other side.
That’s the power of resilience—it allows you to feel deeply and fully, and then shift into a more positive action. You’re not suppressing, avoiding, or pretending; you’re working through emotions and building strength in the process.
How Physical Health Ties into Resilience
Resilience isn’t just a mental or emotional trait—it’s deeply connected to our physical health as well. In fact, building physical resilience can directly impact how we handle stress and challenges in other areas of life. According to research by the American Psychological Association (APA), regular physical activity has been shown to reduce stress, improve mood, and increase overall emotional resilience. Physical health and resilience are intertwined, and when you’re physically stronger, you’re often better equipped to manage the mental and emotional toll of life’s challenges.
Let’s look at Jane’s story. Jane is a single mom juggling a demanding job and raising little people. She’s no stranger to stress, but after years of running on fumes, her body started to show signs of burnout—chronic fatigue, migraines, and even a weakened immune system. She decided to make a change and started incorporating regular exercise into her routine, just 20 minutes a day.
According to Kelly McGonigal, a health psychologist and author of The Joy of Movement, even short bursts of physical activity can release neurochemicals like dopamine and serotonin, which help regulate mood and reduce feelings of stress.
As Jane’s physical health improved, so did her emotional resilience. She found that after a workout, she had more mental clarity and felt more capable of handling the daily challenges that previously overwhelmed her. Her stress didn’t magically disappear, but she was now physically and mentally stronger to face it head-on.
Building resilience isn’t just about mental toughness; it’s also about taking care of your physical body. A healthy body supports a healthy mind, and regular physical activity is one of the simplest ways to strengthen both.
How Resilience Contributes to Well-Being
The connection between resilience and overall well-being is undeniable (read the studies!). Resilience doesn’t just help you survive difficult moments—it helps you thrive. People who develop resilience tend to have higher life satisfaction, better emotional regulation, and a more positive outlook on life.
Psychologist Martin Seligman, a leading figure in positive psychology, has found that resilience is closely linked to a positive mindset. When you’re able to bounce back from adversity, you develop a belief in your ability to handle future challenges, which in turn leads to greater happiness and well-being.
Resilience is also a key factor in reducing the risk of mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. According to a study published in the Journal of Affective Disorders, individuals with higher resilience levels reported significantly lower rates of depression and anxiety. By developing resilience, you create a buffer against the negative effects of stress, making it easier to maintain mental and emotional health over the long term.
How to Start Building Resilience
Resilience is like a muscle—it gets stronger the more you work on it. The good news? You don’t have to wait for a major life crisis to start building it. There are small, everyday ways to strengthen your resilience.
First, practice emotional flexibility. The next time something frustrates or disappoints you, give yourself permission to feel those emotions. Don’t brush them aside or pretend they’re not there. Instead, acknowledge them, sit with them for a moment, and then ask yourself: What can I do to move forward?
Second, prioritize your physical health. Start by incorporating small amounts of physical activity into your day, whether that’s a quick walk, a yoga session, or some light stretching. Even a little movement can have a big impact on your mental resilience. Remember, as Kelly McGonigal points out, physical activity helps regulate mood, reduce stress, and build resilience from the inside out.
Third, develop a strong support system. Resilience doesn’t happen in isolation. Surround yourself with people who encourage and uplift you—whether that’s friends, family, or a mentor. Sometimes just having someone to talk to when life feels overwhelming can make all the difference.
Here’s One Thing You Can Do Right Now to Start Building Resilience
Set aside 10 minutes today to reflect on a recent challenge you faced. Write down how it made you feel, how you responded, and what you learned from the experience. Then, think about one small action you can take to move forward from that challenge, whether it’s reaching out for advice, setting a new goal, or simply giving yourself some self-compassion. The more you practice working through setbacks in this way, the stronger your resilience muscle will become.
Remember, resilience isn’t about being invincible—it’s about being adaptable, flexible, and willing to grow through adversity. The more you work on it, the stronger you’ll become, both mentally and physically. So, the next time life tests you, you’ll be ready to handle it with strength, grace, and a determination that says, “I’ve got this.”