I’m not entirely sure what my brain does while I sleep, but whatever it is, it likes it. It’s just starting to sink deeper into that dreamy, delicious place when BAM, the alarm goes off. A little too aggressively, if you ask me. Conway Twitty’s Frosty the Snowman blasts through the room, and while I thought it would be funny, today, it’s an ice pick to the brain. There’s no winter wonderland outside my window, just the stark light creeping through the blinds. My partner, somehow cheerful and awake, moves around the room, whistling and looking adorable, while the smell of coffee wafts in from the kitchen. It’s almost enough to get me moving. Almost.
Usually I require some coaxing. But then it’s out of bed, one foot after the other, straight into the routine. There’s coffee (sometimes), a quick scroll through TikTok (bleak just tnow), and the same half-hearted promise to a yoga class (probably not). Some days, it’s so automatic I think I could leave my body and watch myself go through the motions.
Ever feel that way?
The Anti-Groundhog Day Dilemma
Unlike Groundhog Day, real life doesn’t come with do-overs. Instead, we’re stuck in routines that play out on repeat, pulling us along in the currents of daily demands. We’re productive, yes, but are we actually present? And here’s the irony—everybody’s productivity looks the same: the commute, the cubicle (or Zoom call), the endless emails. Even our goals are recycled from someone else’s definition of success.
Take, for instance, the classic five-year plan. How many of us have sat down and mapped out one of these? “By 30, I’ll be a millionaire. Married. Two kids. A house with a pool.” We imagine these milestones as our golden ticket to happiness, but when life doesn’t play along, we end up using these imaginary goals to beat ourselves up. It’s strange, really—planning life like it’s a script, then feeling like a failure when reality doesn’t follow the plot.
The Autopilot Quirks
We’ve all got our autopilot quirks—those odd routines we barely notice anymore. Like setting three alarms, yet never waking up to any of them. Or rehearsing that “I should exercise more” conversation with ourselves daily, even as we actively avoid eye contact with the gym shoes just over there. We scroll endlessly, telling ourselves it’s “staying informed,” or make the autopilot drive home from work, barely aware we even got there. Living like this is both automatic and somehow exhausting.
Losing Ourselves to Society’s Script
I recently saw a woman on TikTok talking about her life. She’d gone from super student to super soldier to super employee, taking on each role like it was a part to master. She was living each day by society’s playbook, playing every part to perfection and losing herself in the process. What struck me was her realization that none of it actually mattered. She’d nailed every script society handed her, and she still felt… empty.
Society doesn’t help. We’ve all been handed these invisible scripts that define what “success” and “happiness” look like, and it’s easy to get trapped in the roles we’re assigned. But somewhere in the grind, we lose sight of what we actually want. It’s no wonder we feel adrift, disconnected from the lives we’re living.
Enter Mindfulness (Sort of)
Thich Nhat Hanh, a Zen master and advocate of “mindfulness in everyday life,” once said, “The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly alive.” Imagine that—feeling alive not because you hit a milestone but because you actually experienced your day.
When was the last time you tasted your coffee? Not gulped it while scrolling through emails, but really tasted it. What if we walked outside without earbuds, just listening to our own footsteps? This isn’t about adding “mindfulness” to your to-do list; it’s about remembering that you are here, right now, living your life—not performing it.
Are You Missing Out on You?
Autopilot isn’t just a habit; it’s a way of hiding from ourselves. Maybe we’re hiding from the discomfort of realizing we’re not doing what we want to be doing. Or maybe it’s easier to go with the societal flow than to ask the uncomfortable question of what we truly want. Autopilot keeps us safe, yes, but it also keeps us on the surface of our own lives.
When was the last time you asked yourself what you actually want? Not what your job, family, or society expects, but what you want? Imagine a version of yourself that isn’t on autopilot—a version that feels every moment, that seeks fulfillment over approval. That version of you is there, somewhere, waiting to be invited to live.
Journal Prompt: Who Are You?
Sit down with this question: Who am I? and let yourself think about it. Not in terms of labels, roles, or responsibilities, but the deeper “you.” And then, ask yourself: What would my life look like if I were fully present in it?