Well. Here’s a purge of words for today.
The cliche “off their rocker,” it’s one I use. Not sure where it came from, but when I hear it I think of someone who is completely unhinged. For me, coming up from one’s rocker, seems like a great problem. One that I will surely never encounter.
Right?
Anyway. I have avoided watching cable news for years. I also stopped reading all news from most outlets. That one took a little longer. And I would love to go back to that era of bliss. But not quite yet. Everything I see, when I do interact with the other realities out there, literally makes me say that someone has gone off their rocker. It’s just been my response. A wide-eyed…”she is completely off her rocker.”
I had to take a brief pause and look up how this cliche came about. Not sure it’s pertinent to my thought process, but I like to know the stuff behind the words.
ChatGPT told me that it likely originated in the United States the late 19th to early 20th century. It gives me two suggestions for how this came about. One being someone “not sitting in a rocking chair properly.” This would apparently imply a lack of balance or stability, then metaphorically suggesting a lack of mental stability. The other theory is that it could be linked to “rocking” being associated with madness or instability. Not very specific, but more than I knew 5 minutes ago.
I’m currently IN a rocking chair. Sitting still. So I think I’m okay for now.
Shared reality feels very unstable. So unstable that I struggle to feel safe out there.
This entry wasn’t what I intended when I sat down in my rocker. But this is what came out of my tired brain…One of my biggest fears, finally identified in the last few years of introspective work, is to be labeled as crazy and taken control of by someone who thinks they “know better.” I’m not sure I’m afraid to actually BE crazy. Especially since the definition of crazy is very suspect in many areas of history. So, digging in a little, maybe the fear a bit deep down is fear of not being allowed freedom of thought. Layers. First it was fear of not being in control of myself. Next I realized that I was afraid people would think I’m crazy. And now I realize that I fear losing freedom of thought based on other people’s definition of “insanity.”