Let’s talk about the annoying visitors that you dread showing up in your life: anxiety and fear. These visitors often show up unexpectedly and overstay their welcome.
Anxiety and fear are basically the dynamic duo of discomfort, and while they might sound like they belong together, they actually have very different ways of messing with your mind.
Fear: The “Oh Sh*t Alarm”
Fear is simple, primal, and surprisingly effective. It’s your body’s way of saying “Hey! We’re in danger here!” You see a snake on your bathroom floor? Fear kicks in and gets you to jump ten feet in the air while screaming like a banshee.
Fear is useful, if you are seriously in danger, instead of the harmless snake it might have been a cobra. It’s that fight-or-flight mechanism that kept your ancestors alive long enough to make you.
In short, fear is like an air raid siren. Loud, obnoxious, but pretty effective at getting your attention when something real is happening.
Anxiety: The Overthinking Overlord
Now, anxiety? Anxiety is the cousin of fear that never stops talking. Fear might pop in to save you from actual threats, but anxiety is here to have sure you are constantly aware of every potential, imaginary, and utterly ridiculous thread–whether or not they even exist. Anxiety doesn’t care if there’s no snake in the grass; it’ll convince you there’s a whole pit of them, just waiting to strike.
Anxiety doesn’t want you to take risks, live freely, or even enjoy yourself much. It’s that friend that reminds you about the embarrassing things you did when you were drunk. Loudly. While fear is clear-cut, anxiety is this nebulous cloud of “what ifs.”
But what if you fail? What if you’re not good enough? What if everyone laughs at you? What if someone hurts you? What if you hurt yourself?…
Thanks, anxiety. Such a loyal, helpful friend.
Fear and Anxiety: Messy Interaction
Here’s the fun part: anxiety can trigger fear. Let’s say you are about to give a speech. Anxiety gets in there early, planting little seeds of doubt:
What if I forget the words? What if everyone is judging me? What if I pee my pants?”…you know all the questions anxiety likes to raise.
By the time you get to the podium, your brain is on such high alert with anxious energy that fear decides it needs to swoop in and save you from yourself–sweaty palms, racing heart, dizziness. Why not?
This interaction is like fear hitting the gas and anxiety slamming the brakes. And you? Stuck in neutral, going nowhere fast.
What They Have in Common
Both fear and anxiety are protective mechanisms–useless, overzealous, helicopter parent of mechanisms that sometimes hold you back more than they help. Both are rooted in survival, but while fear is rooted in present moment danger, anxiety is obsessed with the future possibilities. And by obsessed, I do mean completely irrational.
The result? They both want to keep you safe. They want you to freeze in place so that you will not get hurt. Fear makes you freeze in the face of actual danger, while anxiety created imaginary scenarios that ensure you never leave your comfortable little bubble.
Breaking Free
Here’s the kicker: while both fear and anxiety feel like they are helping, they are actually preventing you from experiencing life fully. Fear serves its purpose occasionally (e.g. there really is a cobra in your bathroom for some reason), but anxiety? Anxiety is the helicopter parent who won’t even let you out of the house.
The next time anxiety or fear start squawking at you, ask yourself: “Is this really dangerous? Right here, right now? Or is my brain just having a moment?”
Spoiler alert: Your brain can be very dramatic. It is, after all, the center of imagination.