I have been kicking around this idea of posting some of the long, long letters I have written to myself over the years. I hesitate only to protect the feelings of people that know me “in real life” and might take offense at something I perceived differently than they did.
I think I’m going to just go for it. I’m going to play with it and see what I like. And I’m going to blog about it along the way…because I want to. And that’s the only reason why for now.
Diary of a Jane, 7.5.24
Waiting for the “right” words to come is something I often do. I sit with pen in hand, or fingers on keyboard and I start to observe my thinking. I start to see ways in which it could be perceived by others. And then I try to throw that thought out because it doesn’t matter. But the words loop through my head…how to convey the EXACT perception of something using words? To evoke the same feelings that you are experiencing along with your thought?
The cool doctors call it “overthinking” these days. Here’s some fun for overthinkers. Would Plato have been considered an overthinker in his time? Sartre? Nietzsche? And whose thoughts, then, are overthinkers thinking, if not the thoughts of other overthinkers? And the bar for overthinking is set incredibly low these days.
Anyway, back to the point of this journal entry. I’ve been writing my thoughts down for as long as I can remember. They feel important to me. And they are! Knowing yourself deeply truly is the answer that so many people are looking for.
I would say one of the main shapers of my life has been journaling. Keeping a journal allows you a unique “time travel” perspective. You can look at a letter you wrote to yourself 5 years ago and you can immediately see the growth or lack of growth that has occurred since that time. You see how many times your immediate emotions were wrong. You start to see patterns and trends in the way you act and what experiences trigger strong emotion.
The art of storytelling belongs only to me in that realm of consciousness. The world is mine and mine alone.