The infamous mid-life crisis. Picture this: you enter a marathon with no structure. The rules say…just run this route, do your best, and make it to the end. That’s it. So, you’ve been running for some time now and not really thinking much about the end yet. You have been enjoying the scenery and the sensory experience. You hope there is a prize at the end, or at least some margaritas. You are driven to continue so that you can get to the end and find out.
At some point in this marathon you stop at a drink station. While stopped, you catch your breath and suddenly realize that you must be close to the end of the race. Maybe another mile, maybe 10, but there is certainly a finite end. A sense of dread may sneak in at this point…how are you doing? Are you ahead? Are you happy with your performance thus far? Are you even enjoying the race? It’s time to assess and plan for the final leg of the race.
In life, you are sure to hit a similar point. You are born into this life with no instructions, similar to the marathon metaphor above. You don’t know when the end will be, but you know there is one. When you get to a certain age or stage of life, you start to think about your impending demise. That sounds dramatic, but is true. You think to yourself, next Friday or in 200 Fridays I will be gone. The ending is assured, it’s the timing that is uncertain. This heightened awareness creates existential dread.
What causes the existential dread to creep in and why do you experience it?
- The Weight of Time: You start to realize that you’ve spent a large part of your life doing…what exactly? The endless possibilities you once saw for your future have started to scatter into the wind, as time has passed the possibilities have changed.
- The Quest for Meaning: When you are young you tend to stay busy juggling all of the things that go into creating a life. You were perhaps working and managing a household. Perhaps growing a family. In the earlier stages of life it is hard to think upon life’s ultimate purpose because you are too busy. But as things slow down, you will inevitably find yourself asking, “What have I accomplished, and what is the point of it all, anyway?”
- The “Authenticity” Alarm: You begin to question whether you’ve been true to yourself, or if you’ve been living out a script influenced by external forces. You may discover you have been cast in roles that you never auditioned for and have no desire to play. Alarm bells go off, reminding you that you are the main character here! And you get to choose the roles you’ll play in the story.
A mid-life crisis may look like this:
- Splurge Street: You might decide to cure your woes with shiny new things. A sports car, perhaps? A new wardrobe, a lake house, a personal jet. Why not? If life is absurd, you might as well finish in style, right?
- Rediscovery Road: You might dust off the old saxophone, start a ceramics class or go backpacking through Europe. You want to find that lost sense of authenticity and to do that you dig into your passions and interests in an effort to find your true self.
- Adventurous Avenue: You might start cross fit, go to raves and party like it’s 1999 or go sky-diving. You want to use the time you have left in life to enjoy all the adventures you have avoided. This is an effort to recapture your youthful spirit and embrace experiences.
A mid-life crisis is not something to fear. It is simply realizing that you are not the same person who started this thing called life and the clock is ticking. Existentialism knocks, asking you to question, seek authenticity and make some intentional life choices.
Why not embrace your mid-life crisis? Use it as a catalyst for self-discovery and growth. Remember, life is your own party. Put on your party hat and celebrate.