Hello You–I’m back to letter writing. I’m trying to come up with a good way of organizing these off-the-cuff posts. Experimenting!
Write Me Letters About Love and Philosophy and Tragedy and Passion…
This Post, written last week, had me thinking about the lost art of letter writing. When I was a girl I had several pen pals. I formed a strong relationship with one. She lived in Africa, which to my young mind was akin to space, and I eagerly awaited her monthly letters. She was just a pretty ordinary girl, like me, doing pretty ordinary things…but in another country! We would exchange stories about weather and school and our young dramatic incidents.
I have always loved to write back and forth with others,it’s how I can get to know someone deeply. I would love to correspond with a multitude of people, in different places and different realities. I need to make this happen…a new pen pal era is in order. A network of thinkers who correspond and collaborate sounds amazing!
The Power of Words and Self Identity
Language is such an incredibly powerful thing. When you read someone else’s thoughts, perhaps years after they are gone from this Earth, it is an intimate experience. This past summer I read “The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath.” I was intrigued. Reading her words, knowing her ending (even though she did not); it was emotional and beautiful. I found many things in common with her and I ached for the hurts she suffered.
If you had asked 5 year old me, what do you want to be when you grow up? A writer would have been my answer. It would still be my answer. I kick myself many days for not following the path I found so young earnestly. But, had I not taken the path I chose then I would not be me today. And I love me today. Such is life, I suppose.
Today I am the woman that the little me dreamed of. The woman that feels loved and loves fiercely. The woman that learns and discussed and reads and writes stories. The woman who laughs and enjoys the absurdities along the way.
I’ve made the little girl me proud, I think.
You Choose the Path
I said I wanted to be a writer. But what I pictured was…simply ME. It took until mid-life to truly absorb that I change the course of my life, not external events or other people. Sure, external stuff impacts my life and sends me in new directions, but only I get to choose which way to go. There is always a choice.
At 38 I had a serious health emergency. I spent 2 weeks in the hospital and I thought I would never see outside that room again. Never see my children grow up. Never find a true love. It was a harrowing experience, but also a beautiful and life-affirming one. Remembering how much I love myself has been my greatest gift.
It took coming moments from death to wake me up. For me to stop idly watching my life pass by, always “waiting” for something to change, never making decisions…for me to realize that to truly live, I have to change things.
I need to actively live and authentically live and intentionally live.
True Love
Focus on falling in love with yourself. Go back in time, and reflect on the things that brought you joy. What made you feel sparkly and smart and happy? What made you feel passionate and engaged and content?
For me, that was writing. And renewing my dedication to exploring this talent has made my life better in many ways.
My advice: Find your thing and explore. What lights you up? Do more of that. Your first true love is you…give yourself space to remember that feeling.